My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
