susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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