im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize