My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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