And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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