playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
