Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I'm at about main and main street
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
