After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
