He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
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I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
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He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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