you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
can u get pink eye on your cock?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize