the day after is always just damage control
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
