PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
