I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
