I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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