did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
