Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
