I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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