Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
