So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
