I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
