omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
