let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
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You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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