I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
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