I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
where are my eyebrows?
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