I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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