even my farts smell like vagina
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
