I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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