also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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