Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize