that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
