love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Only a mothe r could love this liver
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize
