Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
We have so much sex to catch up on
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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