so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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