How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
