I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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