There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
