Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
