YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.