Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
It's blow job season.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.