So drunk its hurt
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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