I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.