I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
someone owes me an orgasm
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
