Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize