she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
