I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
