State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I understand Curling. That high.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
