i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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