grandma shit on top of the toilet
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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