I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Randomize
