I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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