oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?