theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.