I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
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i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
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I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.