It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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