If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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