I wish I only lived at night.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
