if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
she told me i tasted like america
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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