Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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