At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I need a beard to bite.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
