She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
