She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
