I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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