It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
