With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Randomize
