sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
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I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
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its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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