He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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