I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
