I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
