today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
